Early Morning thoughts

I used to be an LJ junkie. SO much that all I wanted to do was post my fic and shit on LJ and have hoardes of people pat me on the head and tell me how wonderful and talented I was and how much they just couldn't LIVE WITHOUT MY PRESENCE!!!111!!!!

(Yeah that *!!!111!!!* phenom gets on my fucking nerves, but I did it to make a point)

Anyway, I became so invested that I was seriously looking for praise and I wrote stuff accordingly. I wrote pairings that I wasn't really digging, just because of the amounts of comments that particular pair would receive as opposed to another pairing (the one that I really enjoyed writing) would receive. That's pretty pathetic in my book. I mean, come on. Really, JJ? Lord.

I also met a few so called "friends" from my flist list and while I initially liked them and liked visiting, that glow wore of with a quickness and my tolerance for them completely flatlined. I'm just like that and I'm not afraid to admit it. I get bored with people easily and I have no patience for crap behavior. I also admit to not being happy when I'm not the center of attention. Well, it doesn't have to be exact center of attention, but well, you know. I should be getting the attention and that's just how I am. I embrace it wholly. I also embrace the knowledge that I'm not going to get that from people, so I leave them alone. Who better to pay attention to my every need and in excrutiating detail that me :)*laughs*

So I'd say all of the people that I was "friends" with from LJ... I don't talk to anymore and it doesn't hurt. Initially it did sting a little, and I was disappointed with them, but after a while (and after removing myself from LJ) I healed and all is urban zen. OHM.

Why am I bringing this up? Well, following a Sylar/Mohinder link to someone's journal, I was curious about the 770 comments this lj-er got for an anon-meme. It was anonymous confessions and boy oh boy do I love those. I get such a kick out of people so concerned with petty shite! I mean really, "I want to be a man so that I can be assaulted by another man"? *snorts* You're kidding. And the impassioned "oh I know MEEE TOOOOO!" replies to those types of comments are priceless. It's a hoot!

After a while people started coming on and talking about how they felt shafted by "LJ awards" and by people who complain about not getting enough comments yet never comment and the like and it made me remember all the things that I hated about LJ. The drama, the hurt feelings, the alliances, the BNFs. Everything that I had been feeling, more than a few (quite a lot) of people felt the way I felt. It all came crashing back and I felt myself being drawn in again. To a point, mind. To a point and then I realised that that wasn't me anymore. All of that no longer mattered and I had no stake in that argument. Can I get a holy choir chorus on that one? Amen. :D

And it feels GOOODDDDD. Feels lovely and positive and grand.

And I love blogging here without the expectations for feedback or anything. I don't care if no one sees this... well it's probably better if no one sees it, haha. It's freeing and fun and that's what life should be.


Mood: : Happy

Tuesday already?

Haha, when I typed in the subject line with what I was going to say, I saw the exact statement pop up in the drop down box. Am I that predictable?! *laughs*

Rest day today. My shins are starting to bother me. I know, I know, I pushed it the last week or so, and now I have to stop and pay for it. So, I took today off, and probably tomorrow... but I'll still work out with some weights. Bulk up and such.

And please... please why are there twin stories involving Peter Petrelli and Gabriel Gray. I mean gee wiz, they aren't twins and if they are, which one of them do they look like? Are they identical or fraternal. Gah! And not only are they twins, but they're screwing each other. So... twincest! And to top if off, throwing Nathan into the mix. Triplecest. Haha. You have to love it.

Hey I'm allllll for whatever turns you on, and if you write it well enough, you'll turn me on too. Someone had an idea of making Peter and Sylar go at it on public display controlled by Eric Doyle. Great, great idea, very sexy possibilities, but the author was not adept at handling the story. A lot of awkward sentences and phrases and dialog... kind of ruined the story. I would love to see it in the hands of someone else. It had the potential to be amazing.

Feh.

And just because I like to think that he's contemplating sex, or not...




Mood: : Bored and hot

NOOO! QUINTOOOOO!

I just have to say that I wouldn't be caught dead at a fan convention... well, I take that back. I'd go, and chill with the fans, but I wouldn't pay a dime to get some celeb's autograph or to sit through listening to them tell some tale of woe. *laughs* What? Huh?

You have to be kidding me. Pay for them to write their name on a piece of paper and to throw it back at me? Oh, I don't think so. They should be asking me for my gratitude and my autograph for paying stupid money to put them where they are now.

Jesus.

That is some crazy mess right there. I can't be bothered. Really.

Mood: : It hurrrrts!

Yes, and yes

Oh, there was one more thing I wanted to add that had annoyed me. The truth be told, I hate Disney and its corporation. yes, I know, hate is a strong word, but believe me, I don't use it lightly. I was excited to hear that there was going to *finally* be a Black Disney Princess. Let me preface that statement by saying, it was *not* important to me that there be a black princess in the least, because I hate that racist Disney crap. But, with that aside, I thought it was nice to see a representation of me in a fairy-tale, fantasy way as all of the "princesses" have been portrayed.

But it seems that good ole' Disney has pulled a bait and switch. Yes, you get your princess, but oh gee well... it looks like we ran out of brown ink so oops, let's just use all of this green paint and make her a frog for most of the movie. I will say that it's not clear how much of the movie she will appear as a frog, but from the trailer, it seems like it will be a large chunk of time.

I will withhold a final judgment until I actually see it, but I don't hold out hope. Oh another thing, it's set in New Orleans in the 1920s (guessing here) with the scary voodoo and Cajuns and dancing/singing shuffling blacks. Oh happy day.

Bastards.


Mood: : Slightly horny ;)


(An aside about the scene in my mood theme. Were the writers actually implying that Sylar would consider having sex with himself? That, *that* would be a viable fantasy of his? Now, that's a story in the making. I wonder if I could find that in rare-slash. Man those bastards are twisted. I like it)

Friday Fun

Got a couple of errands to do tomorrow, laundry endless laundry!! Talk to a realtor go through the paperwork the mortgage house sent, finish putting Heroes eps on the touch...relaxing. It's steamy hot here now and promises to be the same tomorrow. Urg, don't make me break out the window unit. I hate putting that in and I hate using it even more. Sometimes I'd rather just bear the heat.


Mmmm.... wasabi peanuts. It's pure bliss and torture. I just have to remember not to inhale upon first crunching through the hard green shell or the wasabi will sear away my sinuses. *laughs*

Ah, so Le Quinto was one of the hosts at the Espy awards. Too much hair gel and he looked quite overheated in that slim suit. Overall, very Gabriel Grey, with a tan and a jauntier hair-part. *laughs*

Mood: : HOT!

First off, I love having a mood theme here. It's so much fun and second, I got my pre-approval stuff in the mail. Lots of official looking papers, that I'm going to have to tear through. I didn't get my asking price, but honestly that was just a number that I threw out to fish around to see what my limits were. But Wells Fargo did approve for about 28 K less, which is still grand in my book. *throws confetti* Now, I suspect the nerves will set in and I'll start to talk myself out of buying a home on my own. Let's hope that I won't do that!


Spent most of yesterday watching horror movies. I saw Friday the 13th (remake) and jesus I've never seen more hardcore sex scenes in my life, outside of porn. Minus the cunt shots, of course. But, man! Was all that necessary? Eh, what did I expect? So many fake boobs on such young girls really hurt to see. Meh, white girls do shit like that and then want to be taken seriously after showing their boobs in B-rated movies. Whatever.

Um, after that, saw "Walled In" I'll give it a "meh". After that itw as "Splinter" which was actually pretty darn good. All the actors were unknown, all shot around a gas station, decent quality, so some money went into the production... I don't know if I'd watch it again, but it was good enough, gory enough. I was pleased.

In Quinto news, I just found out that a coworker of mine crushes on him. She also crushes on Bana-boy as well. I knew that one, because I was the one who turned her onto him. But Quinto was new to me and I couldn't help laughing after we finished discussing the finer points of Sylar and the sy-brows and Spock. Small world.

Right now I am exhausted and hungry and in need of a shower. Worked out for about an hour today, ran and did my triceps and biceps and abs with a teeny bit of back. I loved that burn I was getting in the biceps especially. Love it! Now, must refuel and wash up. Yay!



Mood: : Pleased

Random post is random

God. My bedroom is finally clean! Clean, clean clean clean... *happy dance*

Vacuumed and lovely and everything in its place. Now onto tackling laundry.

I also have a Sylar moodtheme... for LJ, but that really doesn't make a difference being that I'm barely there, but it was too cute to pass up. So. I loaded it and yeah... there you go. Hey, I can use it here for my own devious purposes. Lovely.

I'm in the mood to make some icons as well, but well... see above with the no lj stuff. I'll tell you one thing, I am so much happier *NOT* being on LJ. At first it was the best place to be and then after a while the drama, the hurt feelings, Oh god. I'll definitely lurk and read the fic that I want and perhaps comment, but other than that, anything that I post will be here and comment free. Yay!

Much better. Much, much better.


Mood: : weirdly pleased

Dreaming

Well it's that time of the month, it seems and here come the wild dreams. I read posts where people say that they dream about celebrities and ohhh, he/she was so cute in it, blah. I tend not to believe them. I dunno. I just don't. I think they're just making it up, or at least embellishing something just to make a scandalous post. *shrugs*

Well, what the hell is this post about then?

Heh, well... since I know that no one is reading this, I don't have an audience to play to, so I'm safe and free to say what I'd dreamed about last night. Fucking Quinto. Well not the act of fucking him, but, him being in the dream. Why? I don't know. I didn't invite him in, he just showed up. In the form of Sylar no less. Haven't watched Heroes in a while, so I guess the brain is just making shit up for me to watch. It does that... a lot!

The dream was based on the episode about the eclipse and from what it seemed, I was taking the place of Elle. No no no, not the good part where the two of them were having a go at it on the floor in that house, oh no, I had to come in after she gets shot in the thigh. Lovely. My dreams play out like movies. Exactly. Where there are long shots and close shots and then "shots" where it's from my perspective as I see them. Through my eyes so to speak in a video game first person sense.


So we do the whole, bandaging me up in the shop, long shot, where I can see him crouched in front of me, me bleeding all over the white floor and all the junk on the shelves behind me. Then we're stumbling through some Wallmart type store trying to get clean clothes and people are staring at us. He plants me in the women's section for a moment and then goes off to get something for himself. Then out of no where security pounces on me, two guys and start to drag me off. Then I'm screaming to him for help, he comes running back.

....zzzzz this is boring me, haha! Some other stuff happens but I can't be arsed to write it down. It was a good idea, wyn, to journal the dreams but fuck it. I want some tea and I have to get to work.





Mood: : Amused

Why are Chucks so expensive? I need to dig out the pair I had in high school... wherever the hell they are. And they were high tops as well and heavy!