(Yeah that *!!!111!!!* phenom gets on my fucking nerves, but I did it to make a point)
Anyway, I became so invested that I was seriously looking for praise and I wrote stuff accordingly. I wrote pairings that I wasn't really digging, just because of the amounts of comments that particular pair would receive as opposed to another pairing (the one that I really enjoyed writing) would receive. That's pretty pathetic in my book. I mean, come on. Really, JJ? Lord.
I also met a few so called "friends" from my flist list and while I initially liked them and liked visiting, that glow wore of with a quickness and my tolerance for them completely flatlined. I'm just like that and I'm not afraid to admit it. I get bored with people easily and I have no patience for crap behavior. I also admit to not being happy when I'm not the center of attention. Well, it doesn't have to be exact center of attention, but well, you know. I should be getting the attention and that's just how I am. I embrace it wholly. I also embrace the knowledge that I'm not going to get that from people, so I leave them alone. Who better to pay attention to my every need and in excrutiating detail that me :)*laughs*
So I'd say all of the people that I was "friends" with from LJ... I don't talk to anymore and it doesn't hurt. Initially it did sting a little, and I was disappointed with them, but after a while (and after removing myself from LJ) I healed and all is urban zen. OHM.
Why am I bringing this up? Well, following a Sylar/Mohinder link to someone's journal, I was curious about the 770 comments this lj-er got for an anon-meme. It was anonymous confessions and boy oh boy do I love those. I get such a kick out of people so concerned with petty shite! I mean really, "I want to be a man so that I can be assaulted by another man"? *snorts* You're kidding. And the impassioned "oh I know MEEE TOOOOO!" replies to those types of comments are priceless. It's a hoot!
After a while people started coming on and talking about how they felt shafted by "LJ awards" and by people who complain about not getting enough comments yet never comment and the like and it made me remember all the things that I hated about LJ. The drama, the hurt feelings, the alliances, the BNFs. Everything that I had been feeling, more than a few (quite a lot) of people felt the way I felt. It all came crashing back and I felt myself being drawn in again. To a point, mind. To a point and then I realised that that wasn't me anymore. All of that no longer mattered and I had no stake in that argument. Can I get a holy choir chorus on that one? Amen. :D
And it feels GOOODDDDD. Feels lovely and positive and grand.
And I love blogging here without the expectations for feedback or anything. I don't care if no one sees this... well it's probably better if no one sees it, haha. It's freeing and fun and that's what life should be.
Mood:
: Happy
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